Currently Of Human Bondage By w. Somerset Maugham see related

“My crotch is drunk.”

It’s not unusual for me to drift off. I always come back, even if just to watch…but this time I missed all the good times I’ve had on this silly page.

I’ve been home for awhile. And by home I mean Bombay as a whole. I could never bring myself to feel comfortable in Bangalore. I blame the city all the time, but some of it is engineered by me. I love the weather though.

Much fun is happening. Buddays and smashings and such.

Stay tuned, yeah?

FeS and CuFeS2 are called Fool's Gold. :-/

Strange. Not to mention completely random?

Welcome back to me, I suppose. Who knows where the wind will carry my letters tomorrow...so I'll try glueing them down here today before they fall out of my ear or something.

I don't know how long its been since I last updated or what has happened since. Alot must have happened since. Let bygones be bygones and all that ideological bullshit. Let's focus on the now. :D

Days roll pass me like local trains pulling out of stations. Slow now, faster...out of sight before you can count the compartments and the faces at the window. I'm like the solitary crow on the far end of the cable. I can see you from up here, you're smoking on a cigarette and calling me anti-social. I can fly, so screw you.

The walls are closing in and my escape routes are shut off. I feel like blood. its all i can do to hang on to the valves. What's the use anyway? I'll only be taking the long way back to where I began.

You may not understand what I'm trying to say...but are you really trying to? Or maybe are you only reading what you want to know? Ha!...so young, so trivial.

One by one I hear my friends tell me that I will be missed. I'm not gone yet. Or so it seems.

Currently Listening Houses Of The Holy By Led Zeppelin see related

6 months.

*checks pulse*

I'm still alive?

"We're perched headlong
On the edge of boredom
We're reaching for death
On the end of a candle
We're trying for something
That's already found us."

Currently Reading Atlas Shrugged By Ayn Rand see related

You know that feeling, where you’re going so fast and the cold is stinging your cheeks and you’re so high on music and happiness and all that good stuff that you feel you can just lift off the back seat and spread your arms out and fly right off that little motorcycle and fly so high up that you don’t need to worry about coming back down to reality?

Yeah.

Happy New Year to those who still read up on my pathetic existence. :)

I promised you (and you know who you are) I’d write and draw again and I promise you that I’m really trying. It’s hard to get back in the groove once you’ve convinced yourself that the groove kicked you out. But I’ll try.

I went to Mangy-land to spend my new years with the brother. Its funny when I remember how disconnected we were before we went to college. Things change for the better sometimes, I guess.

Lots of drinking and dancing and laughing and reminiscing followed. It was too short. It’s been the most fun I’ve had in a very long time.

Everyone says your first year is your best year. Is something wrong with me then because I’m not having that much fun? I feel like I don’t fit here. Yeah, I’ve tried adjusting, I’ve tried the path of tolerance but I just miss home too damn much! It doesn’t help that everyone’s off and having an awesome time. I guess I’m just bitter because I’m supposed to be there too. There HAS to be a wild-haired little girl running amok in their photographs because….that’s just the way it’s supposed to be! BLEH. This doesn’t feel good.

Days are just a blur…one after the other after the other. Blood, cadavers, chemicals, cements. Rant after rant after mind-fucking rant. I’m sick of my own complaining.

So anyway. That’s it for me. Frustrated McGloomy signing off. Have a nice day.

Currently Listening Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not By Arctic Monkeys see related

…I’ve really neglected this space. I keep coming back here, though. It’s comforting, in a way. Half the people I used to know won’t even realize I updated. And I’d never know if they did. I try checking sometimes…

It’s starting to smell of decay and no matter how much I try to clean, the mould doesn’t leave the corners of my screen.

Anyhoo…

Quick recap of the life and times of Shivani, first year Dental student, currently residing in Bangy-land, shall we?

Let’s see…roommates, cadavers, kites, estrogen-overdoses, birthdays, mobile recharges, lancets, dal and rice every afternoon, late night bitching sessions, dirty kannada songs, electric kettles, Acharya’s, managers, salwar kameezes, skulls, maggi, moths, BDA park ragging, home-sickness, graduations, 4 a.m. VH1, missed rock concerts, Meatball, exams, thumb impressions, notes, butterscotch ice cream, frustration, obituaries, photographs, girl-on-girl action, Krishnasagar, mix-fruit milkshakes, crappy hindi movies, fresher’s party, spotter’s tests, Best Bakery, spatulas, Kannadiga professors, siestas, laughing fits, a lot of coffee…

Throw in 4 sheep and a squirrel with a piece of scotch brite stuffed in his mouth and that’s pretty much all its been about.

Help?

“The sun is up, the sky is blue, the fairies in your head are whispering obscenities in your ear, there’s a whale in your room that you’re ignoring and the merry-go-round in my eyes is spinning until the day forever comes.”